


with friends like these

by orphan_account



Series: Latreía mou - Zagreus/Hypnos oneshot collection [8]
Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Breeding Kink, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Married Couple, Sexual Humor, Strength Kink, horny hypnos strikes again!, with also a dash of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:47:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24315271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Hypnos always enjoys seeing Zagreus spar, and Skelly is just here for the laughs.
Relationships: Hypnos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Series: Latreía mou - Zagreus/Hypnos oneshot collection [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1630744
Comments: 19
Kudos: 220





	with friends like these

Curly, Short-stuff, Sleepyhead—Hypnos is a right wealth of nicknames to choose from, that Skelly meanders through whenever Teeny decides to make an appearance at the courtyard with Zag. Hypnos’s antics during his visits will determine what title Skelly will grace him with; Hypnos is particularly yawn-y? Sleepyhead. Hypnos’s short stature being emphasized when he stands next to Zagreus? Short-stuff. Those bouncy curls on his head seem especially floaty? Curly. 

Hypnos obviously swimming through a _mood_ that permeates as a thick haze that even Skelly, as a skeleton, can feel? With how Hypnos’s eyes glaze over in obvious lust, body heating from the inside as an open flame, his attention and being taken so wholly by the sight of Zag giving Skelly a good wallop and boy, _oh boy,_ does Hypnos have an debilitating appetite. Absolutely starved to see Zagreus move and fight. And Skelly, well, he’s a helper, a wingman, a most supportive skeleton who’s here for Zagreus’s thwacking benefit and to give Hypnos a show to think about when he’s alone. Insatiable thing, and Skelly can't really call Hypnos _Nympho,_ in good conscious, and especially not in front of the guy's _husband_. No matter how tempting it may be, considering how blatant the guy is in his thirst, as if stuck in a desert, and he probably wished he was in Skelly’s place at times.

Sure, Hypnos may be a spectator just to be a spectator, cheering on the sidelines with advice that instantly clues Skelly in that this guy has no rightly idea how to fight, before giving Zag a cute little kiss of good luck as His Royalness takes another stab at Hades (both physically and metaphorically). And then Hypnos will linger still, even after Zagreus has vacated, to give his thoughts on how he thinks Zag will die, and they’ll carry on with their tally (the current score is Hypnos: 20, Skelly: 8, he hasn’t had the best of luck in this game of theirs). But sometimes Hypnos visits with a very particular motive in mind. He isn’t very subtle. Especially when his cheeks are all hot and he’s trying to cross his legs. Listen, Skelly can call the guy _Nympho_ in the privacy of his head because _sheesh,_ it gets stuffy when Hypnos is in a mood. Skelly already knows that Zag just needs to swing a sword for foreplay because Hypnos just gets _riled up_ at seeing his husband send Skelly to respawn. 

Something to do with his muscles, something to do with how Zag moves when he fights, something to do with the Prince’s royal tits, _something something, ‘do you think he’ll agree to using Varatha as a spreader bar on me’ Hypnos muses way too casually, something something_ and Skelly, for all the soft spot he has for Hypnos and his shenanigans, really only half listens to the guy when he _gushes._ They’re like on permanent honey-moon mode, these two. And Skelly’s just standing here, in the middle of Hypnos’s attempts to incorporate Zag’s sparring into their bedroom activities. Always entertaining, with these fellas. 

Y’know, Skelly’s somewhat sympathetic. Hypnos is trying to lay down _hints_ to his great Princely husband that he just, really, _really_ appreciates the man’s strength and weapons handling. And Skelly can relate, he’s a training dummy, after all, although he doesn’t think the thrashing Zag gives _him_ rightly compares to the thrashing he gives _Hypnos._

Hypnos is persistent. Zagreus is either a tease or completely oblivious, because he hasn’t appeared to put two and two together, the whole _‘Hypnos sometimes gets unbearably aroused when I pulverize the good skeleton into smithereens’._ Hypnos is a twig and Skelly has seen enough to know the man likes being broken as one. Skelly has faith in Zagreus. One of these days he’ll get it, that his husband just really wants to be _bullied._ In the meanwhile, Skelly will do his duties as probably the only other being that dies more often than his Royal Hiney. 

Well, Hypnos has arrived with Zag to the courtyard this day/night, and Skelly throws out a series of basic calculations in his empty skull to determine whether this round is a _‘Hypnos will hold himself and merely make back-handed compliments’_ or a _‘Hypnos will salivate enough to fill a pool with a tent under his tunic’._ Skelly is leaning on the latter, simply because the guy’s got this _glint_ in his eyes currently. The, _‘I’m looking for mischief’_ type tell. 

“Any requests?” Zagreus muses, strolling to stand before them _Infernal Arms_ , throwing a glance over his shoulder to serve both Skelly and Hypnos a quirked brow.

“The eternal spear seems quite lonely, I’d say.” Hypnos quips, feigning great concentration as he cups his chin with furrowed brows. “Allow it its due freedom from its gloom, will you? I can't stand the waves of loneliness it gives.” 

“Ah, thank you for enlightening me, Hypnos, my weapons whisperer.” Zagreus snorts, turning so he may claim this oh-so dreadfully lonesome spear that Hypnos wants used on himself as a bondage device. 

Skelly gives Hypnos a glance. Hypnos glances back. Hypnos _winks,_ and yeah, it’s gonna be one of _those_ sparring matches, huh. Skelly feels his ribcage rattle from his phantom lungs heaving a chuckle, and _here we go,_ another round of Hypnos being just the most insistent little thing.

“Give it to me, boyo,” Skelly prompts, taking his stance as Zagreus takes his, twirling his spear in an effortless motion as Hypnos takes his usual seat of just outside the sparring boundary. 

And— _Wallop!_ Indescribable pain! Absolute agony! Just constant torture! And he isn’t even getting paid for this! 

Well, that’s what he would say, if he could feel any of Zagreus’s whacks or how his left humerus has just been snapped in two by a well-done strike. Actually, Skelly already says those things, regardless of the fact he can’t actually feel any of his bones break as a crackling bundle of sticks. Gotta motivate the Prince and his regal beatings! And what better way to do so than sing casually his most terrible woes.

“C’mon, boyo, I got an itch that needs scratchin’ on my—” _thwack,_ “Ah, there we go! Thanks, you got it!” 

_Thwack, thwack, thwack._ Whack, whack, whack. Zagreus jumps and charges and Skelly progressively gets smaller, because his bones are being scattered with how Zag slices-n’-dices him apart. Maybe Zag is a tease. Maybe he understands, fully, the effect he has on his husband (they are _married,_ after all), ‘cuz Zag’s got this particular smug look on his face, and Skelly knows it ain’t aimed at him. Being a little more _theatrical,_ too, from what Skelly can gather, through the haze of Zag’s strikes. Arching more, jumping like a rabbit, seemingly trying to ensure he’s always in full view of Hypnos’s line of sight to make sure his husband has front row seats to how his tits bounce as he moves. Awfully considerate, certainly. 

_Thwack, thwack, thwack_ —and then things are completely black, and Skelly’s floating on nothing. Turned to dust, literally, scattered everywhere and nowhere, and he doesn’t have the same constitution as a _God,_ respawn still feels weird because he can actually feel a tickling from it, and he’s just bones with no nervous system to feel with.

And when Skelly returns from that transitional state of regeneration and is brought back to the sparring yard, sights given back from that stark blackness and forms take their shape—Yup. Curly is climbing Zagreus like a tree, obviously. Wouldn’t be the first time the man merely _pounced._

Skelly gives him credit for the initiative. 

Hypnos is floating in Zag’s space, so he may just... Just _devour_ the man’s face. Like all those mushy eroticas Skelly barely remembers when he was living. Lips mashing against one another. Mouths just going at it. A sliver of tongue. Nympho cups at Zagreus’s face like a desperate monkey, as Zag himself attempts to sheath his spear with one hand as the other tries to cradle his _very enthusiastic_ floating husband’s back.

When Hypnos does decide to break his unrelenting onslaught, he says: _“Take me,”_ with a very whiny tone leaving him. “Right here, right now, hold me down and _take me._ ” Hypnos says—nah, _pleads,_ and Skelly just…

Well, he just stands there.

 _“Hypnos,”_ Zagreus manages, the spear finally gone into incorporeal storage so his other hand is free to grip at Hypnos’s waist. “Skelly will be back any second—”

“Oh, don’t mind me, fellas.” Skelly chirps casually with a shrug, and he enjoys how Zagreus suddenly turns to him with a face that would be at home at a tomato patch. “I always enjoy a good show after a good wallop.” 

Zagreus has a wonderfully startled face, before it smooths out into embarrassment, and Skelly isn’t quite sure what the man expected; he knows Skelly respawns here. He’s totally been teasing Hypnos. Bit shortsighted, on his part. Didn’t think this through, it would seem, and maybe Hypnos is just _that_ distracting to him. Zagreus gives a huff. His lips are moist and swollen. Cheeks ablaze. Hypnos is in the way so Skelly can’t surmise if Curly’s assertion has gotten mini-Zag’s attention.

“See.” Zagreus says dryly, nodding his head to Skelly’s direction while curbing poor Hypnos from further groping, as he holds the man by the waist at an arm's length. Half an arm’s length. Zag isn’t as unaffected as he thinks he is.  
  
“He wouldn’t mind.” Hypnos says with a flippant wave. His face is similar to Zag’s, as in, half his blood pooled under his cheeks and the other half traveling down south. “Right? You wouldn’t mind.” He says with an absurd confidence at Skelly, and Skelly decides, why not, he’ll humour him.  
  
“I wouldn’t mind.” Skelly shrugs. So Hypnos has a thing for having an audience. He’s a narcissist, that way, liking attention. 

And Skelly _is_ here to _help,_ after all. 

Hypnos takes his affirmative as endless motivation to keep going, because he darts once more to take claim of Zagreus’s lips. Zag makes a noise. Some surprised squawking, because even if the Prince moves his face and Hypnos misses the lips, the guy keeps going, undeterred, kissing at his cheek and jaw and caressing what he can with desperate hands.

“Look at what you’ve done, he’s insatiable.” Zagreus grunts, but he lifts his head so Hypnos has access to his throat. “You shouldn’t encourage him, mate.” 

A mighty hypocrite, Skelly idly thinks, because Zagreus has all the power to simply halt Hypnos in his ministrations but simply _doesn’t._ He doesn’t even try to keep the facade up, because he allows Hypnos to float closer as his grip on the smaller God’s hips loosen from their barring grip. Hypnos exploits the opportunity that is given to him to mush their fronts together, as he’s allowed access to his husband’s mouth for another round of tongue wrestling.

And they sure are kissing. Passionately. Most wantonly. Like it’s been a century since they’ve seen each other. Skelly’s got something stuck in his teeth, that he attempts to dig it out with a digit, and huh. Guess this will be the time Hypnos gets his turnout, because Zagreus has curved one of his hands to grip at the guy’s ass. Spicy.  
  
 _Gods,_ Skelly thinks, opening his jaw wider so he may have better access to dislodge whatever this is that's jammed in between two molars, _is this a pebble? Why’s there some rock in his mouth. He just regenerated, did he respawn with some debris after his skull was smashed. What a rip off._

He’s spooked from his pebble-mining when Zag makes a noise. Another squawk. Decidedly squeakier than the last, and Skelly blinks with no eyelids, because Hypnos has lowered himself from being at eye-level with the boyo.

No, Hypnos is chest-level with Zagreus, now. Tit-leveled. With his mouth no longer mashed against Zagreus’s own, because he is now eagerly sucking on Zag’s exposed nipple. 

Oh ho, really going _in._ Hypnos is a God on a mission. Zag’s face is redder than his pants. Hypnos’s lips curve around Zagreus’s nipple, suckling, as a hand gives the Prince’s bountiful breast some very zealous support. Hypnos hungrily gives Zagreus’s nipple attention with moist lips, as his tongue peeks from under them, before he breaks away from his dedicated treatment with lips giving a _‘pop’_ as he lifts his face. Before, a mere second later, Hypnos then releases his tongue to lick around and over Zag’s little nub, before just diving back in for another feast.

Perhaps, if Skelly had his giblets, this could be arousing, for him. As it stands, he doesn’t have his cock anymore, so he doesn’t have anything to feel arousal _with._ Hypnos attempts to breastfeed on a panting Prince, and Skelly still has something stuck in his teeth. At least Hypnos is getting results.

And results he gets, because Zagreus seems startled from a haze, his attention very rudely taken from Hypnos because he probably notices Skelly is still in the vicinity and just _there,_ because he suddenly jolts.

Zagreus grabs at Hypnos’s shoulders suddenly, jerks the man away from his suckling and Hypnos responds with a splutter as his feet hit the ground.

 _“Hypnos!”_ Zagreus yaps with wide eyes and a definite growing tent in his pants. _“Gods,_ did you drink an aphrodisiac, mate?”

Oh hey, that pebble's out. A literal pebble. Why does a pebble regenerate with him when he dies? Is it because he was a mortal. It’s because he was a mortal, wasn’t it. He doubts Zagreus has to worry about regenerating with stupid debris. Skelly looks up from flicking the offending rock away to see Hypnos’s face break into a wide, self-satisfied grin, eyes glazed and just the general picture of lust.

“I just really, _really_ appreciate the fact you could subdue me with little effort, you know?” Hypnos coos, snaking his hands upwards to feel up Zag’s arms, no doubt enjoying the feel of the Prince’s most royal muscles. Hypnos licks his lips, whispers, “Hold both my wrists in one hand, pick me up in one swoop, push me around, use me as a toy with your big, _strong_ arms and you could do _anything_ to me, just _anything.”_

Zagreus stares. Blinks. Clearly really _wants_ to do those things, but must be battling some royal decree of _‘Prince’s don’t rail their husbands in front of skeletons’_ because he just whines, _“Hypnos.”_

Hypnos licks his lips, again. He makes a very blatant display of doing so with a slow moving tongue this round, before he continues. “And I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, only _take,_ as you force yourself in me, all helpless and willing in your mighty hold and I wouldn’t even be able to _move._ ”  
  
 _“Hypnos.”_

Yeah, Zagreus's voice has that _'it is only by a sliver of self control that I haven't shoved my cock in you so deeply you’d taste it for the next week and then pounded you into the dirt until you were unconscious'_ quality to it. Husky, _strained_ , and it really is probably Skelly's presence that halts him. Not that Skelly makes a move to leave. He's had to endure Hypnos's unsuccessful attempts of getting the man to manhandle him into submission for however long, he wants to see how this plays out. Maybe score their performances out of ten if they decide to just go at it here, in front of him. 

Hypnos, certainly, doesn’t care if Skelly’s there. Definitely the opposite, he is, in fact, absolutely spurred that he has an audience to play for.

Hypnos urges himself closer, or attempts to, as Zagreus seems to retain some of this useless notion of modesty as he keeps Hypnos secured with a hard grip on his shoulders. Hypnos settles for continuing to fondle the guy’s built biceps. His eyes gleam, voice breathy as it is suddenly unbearably hot underneath his tunic as he drawls heartily, with just a _twinge_ of desperation, “Don’t you want me to be powerless, Zagreus? Don’t you want me to be just a sheath for you to fuck—?” 

_“Hypnos,”_ Zagreus probably attempts for a hard voice, but it just comes out throaty. “You act like you’re in heat, have you _actually_ taken an aphrodisiac?” 

Hypnos just shrugs, and grins with teeth. “Mount me like a stallion, then,” He says far too innocently, for such a statement. “Take me as a bitch, and breed me like one too—”  
  
“Curb this filth, good Gods.” Zagreus says quickly, awfully quickly, after emitting a particular _strangled_ noise, and oh, _oh._ That struck something very specific, didn’t it. Hypnos said that with obvious intent. Zagreus has a _thing_ for the idea of knocking Hypnos up, is that it, _hah._ Hypnos knows how to play his cards. 

Zagreus turns to Skelly, and speaks before Hypnos can go on a soliloquy about how Zagreus’s seed could impregnate him, or whatever. “I apologize on his behalf, mate.” Zagreus says, _genuinely,_ too, and this guy is too good, honestly.

“Hey, I meant what I said. I don’t mind.” Skelly shrugs again, speaks mildly to show Zagreus he literally isn’t affected by any of this nonsense. He points to Hypnos, who has been trying to hump on Zag’s thigh. “You gonna fulfill your husband’s obvious needs, or what, boyo? Don’t leave the guy high and dry, c’mon, that’s just cruel.” 

Hypnos snickers, as Zagreus squints suspiciously at Skelly. “Why do I have the itching suspicion the two of you conspire behind my back to tailor these _incidents.”_ He mutters as he shakes his head, a small smile gracing his lips. And, well, he isn’t entirely _wrong,_ not really. 

Zagreus looks down at Hypnos, who bats his eyelashes up at Zag without an ounce of guilt. “You are an _insistent_ little thing, mate.” Zagreus murmurs.

Guess Hypnos is about to get the goods. Oh, is _definitely_ going to get the goods, because Zagreus, in one, effortless motion, picks the smaller God up and slings Hypnos over his shoulder like some sack.

It elicits a most _inspired_ gasp from Hypnos. And a groan, too, when Zagreus pats the man’s rear for good measure, and he’s going to get a pounding, absolutely, just a right good _thrashing._ Zagreus turns on his heel, marches back towards his room with purpose, and as he passes (yup, mini-Zag’s there), Hypnos makes sure to flash Skelly a double thumbs up with a broad, bright smile, and Skelly, because he’s been raised right, returns the gesture with his own.

And then they’re gone, the door closed, and Skelly’s still just standing in the courtyard. 

He thinks, idly, that maybe, if they—he and Hypnos—really, _really_ hammer in that he wouldn’t mind watching the two, Zagreus may be persuaded. He’s heard Hypnos is flexible, wonders if there’s any actual truth to such a statement. Skelly bets his obol that Zagreus is going to, _quote-unquote,_ ‘punish’ Hypnos for being such a miscreant. Predictable enough, really.

Well, time to continue standing around and maybe play the xylophone with his ribcage to pass the time as he waits for Zag to return. Hypnos is gonna be out for commission for at least a week, he already knows that.

Ah, what a riot, these two. Hell is never dull, with them.

**Author's Note:**

> this one has been on the back-burner for literal months, but today I was given the sudden inspiration to finish it, so here have this quick thing done in one sitting. Sorry there's no actual hardcore smut LOL i still find that too difficult to write. U_U I can't tell if this warrants an Explicit rating though, or just Mature... so, you tell me!
> 
> Exhibitionism aside, Hypnos and Skelly would be fun friends, I think. Their personalities would mesh well and I want them to interact. Skelly lore when…
> 
> Anywho, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
